all who are thirsty on wednesdays

I felt I needed to blog about this because this experience just reminded me of God’s never-ending, unlimited, bottomless grace on me.

After shopping at Trader Joe’s, I was waiting for the bus, when a “random” guy came up to me and asked if I knew when the bus would come. At first glance, I just assumed he was another Cal student and brushed him off with a polite, “Sorry, I don’t know.”  After my response, he peered into my grocery bag, then proceeded to sit down next to me on the bench. Taking a deep sigh, he started talking about how tired he was and how he’d walked so much today. I asked him where he was coming from, and he said Oakland. He had just come back from the rally against budget cuts to public education. But then I later found out that he wasn’t a Cal student but actually a senior at Berkeley High School. After carrying on the conversation for a bit, he stopped to ask me how much the bus fare was. $2. (What a rip off! )

As we kept talking, I started wondering if God was trying to tell me something about this kid. Why was he talking to me? What were his needs? Did he know God? The conversation was interesting but in my head, I immediately thought of inviting him to Seeker Sunday and began to wait for  a chance to steer our conversation in that direction. Excited and a bit nervous, I bust out my best empathy skills, and started hearing him out to see when I could jump in with my own agenda.

Then, we saw the bright blue lights of the bus in the distance, about a stop away. He asked me once again how much the bus fare was…then started rummaging through his backpack to find money. Thats when the light turned on in my mind and I suddenly realized what was going on here.

He needed bus money. That’s why he started a conversation with me, a random stranger at the bus stop. Thats why he asked me how much the bus was, twice. Eureka indeed.It wasn’t because he was necessarily interested in any of the things we were talking about, or in who I was as a person. Maybe he was, but that wasn’t his motive for engaging in conversation with me. He had exactly one thing in mind, to get what he needed from me.  Before he could even begin to act out his monologue of, “where’s my wallet”, I took out my wallet and thanked God for the little cash I happened to have (exactly $2) at that moment. I took out the money and gave it to him, saving him from a drawn out performance. I don’t remember if he thanked me or not. As soon as I paid for his bus ride, he didn’t say another word to me and went to sit as far away from me as possible, avoiding all possible eye contact.

On that bus ride back I reflected on that moment. I wasnt exactly sure how to feel or what to do. I thought of going up to him and at least asking his name. Should I take advantage of this opportunity and tell him to come to my church on Sunday since I paid for his bus ride? Should I feel duped or angry? Then, I realized that this must be a tiny fraction of what God goes through when He has grace on me. When I come back to Him, he still loves me to the fullest and gives with all His heart even though He knows I’m going to turn on Him and sin all over again. All too often my heart is one of receiving as much as I can from Him. Even though Im walking and engaging in a relationship with God, Im also always thinking about what I can get from the relationship, what He can do for me. And even though God knows this all too well, He never fails to give, to love, to have mercy.He also doesn’t use His grace to demand things of us, unlike my idea of asking the kid to come to church in exchange for my money. He just gives, and gives, and gives.

In that moment, through those thoughts, I took the rest of that bus ride to pray for him, whatever his name might have been. I asked that God would be with him, and that he would have a chance to someday hear about the ultimate fare someone named Jesus paid for him.

~Manuela <3